


Expectations I Can't Reach・届かない期待

by machigaiko



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst, haskjldhflkj, i actually dont really know when this takes place, idk maybe its in the anime i havent watched that yet, its like after the events of trigger happy havoc ya know, sads, sorry idk my fandoms this doesnt really take place in trigger happy havoc, ventfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:41:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28035582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/machigaiko/pseuds/machigaiko
Summary: "Work...work...work...work...Makoto's head kept on hollowing out and filling itself with fog, over and over again as he wandered through and looked for information lost in the void of his mind."Makoto is drowning in work. help him. this is also kinda a vent fic but like idk i just wanted to write this i guess.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Expectations I Can't Reach・届かない期待

**Author's Note:**

> yooooo so okay a few things
> 
> 1\. this was meant to take place after the events of trigger happy havoc when like the survivors get accepted by the future foundation and shit but idk when that is or what fandom i should label that as so if you know then please enlighten me
> 
> 2\. this is sorta a vent fic but like im not dying makoto here needs therapy i dont need therapy i think
> 
> 3\. imma put this in the end note you need to read le fic first

_Work..._

_work..._

_work..._

_work..._

Makoto's head kept on hollowing out and filling itself with fog, over and over again as he wandered through and looked for information lost in the void of his mind.

**_Water swirled all around him, his body feeling like it would stop working all together from the pressure. Dark blue swarmed his vision, limbs flailing to try to get a bearing on something- anything. He needed to reach the surface- but where was it in the first place?_ **

Paper with varying forms of ink placement forming into words and symbols surrounded Makoto. So many forms, so much to do. Did they really expect him to do it all right then and there?

_"Remember to finish that form, we can't move forward without it being filled out."_

_"When are you going to finish it?"_

_"It's overdue, we're running late."_

_"Makoto! There are things around here that must be done."_

Why can't they understand that not everyone can work the same way? _I'm not made for this. My brain wasn't made to be all this responsible, stop putting me on your level. I can't- I can't do this! Not for you, not for me, not for anyone! God why am I so useless!_

_**Which direction to start going in? Where? How did he fall this deep... when did he fall this deep...? It hurt so much. The pressure adding to the thick blob of dread filling his chest, too much. It was too much. Progress had to be made...** _

_Tap_

_Click_

_Tap_

_Tap_

The dull sounds of the keyboard and mouse we're all that could be heard. Makoto continued to look through the internet mindlessly, longing to fill the hole of that _unaccomplished, unfinished, incomplete, hollowed out_ part of his brain, his body. Somewhere, somehow, something was missing. He didn't know what, but he wanted to find it.

Scrolling and clicking, opening and gazing through memes and videos, huffing out faint laughs of amusement- Makoto knew he could never truly enjoy himself though. The missing gap remained missing. The itch in the back of his head- _there is work to be done. Do your work. You're letting yourself down. You're holding people back. Irresponsible. What a waste-_ it continued to keep him awake, conscious and aware of the fact that he isn't doing anything.

**_The depth of the water was ever lengthening, the distance between him and the surface was ever growing. It wasn't fair. How was he supposed to catch up through all of the pressure? He wanted it to stop. He just wanted to curl himself into a ball and let himself drown... there wasn't a point to dragging himself through all of this anyways._ **

Makoto sat in the same place everyday- clicking through all the empty calories that fed his withering body. He didn't feel like laughing anymore... he was scared. He didn't deserve to laugh- to enjoy his time. He had to finish all these things, for the sake of everyone else, he couldn't sit around laughing. He couldn't bring himself to smile anymore. What disgrace he would be if he dared to free himself from reality and leave everyone else to suffer from his own inability to be responsible whatsoever.

_"Hey, Makoto, are you done with it yet?"_

_"Are you okay?"_

_"Is there something wrong?"_

_"Why can't you get it done?"_

_"Get it done."_

_"Get it done."_

_"Get it done!"_

_I'm sorry! I can't get it done! I can't get anything done! I can't listen! I can't bring myself to be motivated anymore! I can't- I can't do anything! I'm so useless!_ Makoto's self loathing bubbled in his chest and threatened to choke him, to suffocate him until he cracks and breaks, until he cries his organs out, until he stops being him.

**_All the extra buckets of water being dumped into the sea, reminding him of everything he couldn't do... everything he can't do. It's not who he is. He's gone so far- they expect him to go on with the exact same amount of stamina. Dragging himself out of this sea, it's so much work on a feeble and tired body like his. Wouldn't it be nice to sleep for a while, to rest and deal with it all later... or even better to never have to deal with it again at all?_ **

Makoto's body buzzed with static, he couldn't comprehend anything anymore. He couldn't do anything. He was useless. He didn't bother to do anything anymore. He didn't bother to make out was on his screen- he didn't bother to check the time- he didn't bother to check the last time he took care of himself- he didn't bother to check how much work he buried himself in. He sighed.

He didn't understand. _Hope or despair? What is this? It definitely wasn't hope, but was it really despair? He felt... lethargic. Junko described despair as a feeling, that crushing feeling he got when he watched his friends all die, getting picked off one by one. This wasn't that feeling though, it was just... empty. Unidentifiable perhaps, but empty nonetheless._

**_...get it done... get it done... get it done...._ ** ****

"Hey, Makoto? Let's talk."

**Author's Note:**

> 3\. the end is pretty open. you can choose how the situation goes from there like who talked and what's going to happen and if you want to make a fic of it then please do! also if you do please send it to me i would love to read it hell yea


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